Life

I received the news about the death of a good friend two nights ago. I was never able to sleep immediately again when the news struck me. Anna Macatangay, the only other Scholastican from our batch who went to the same college with me, was only 28. Very young indeed. But who would have ever thought that her life was that complete span of 28 years. Usually people say “you’re still young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you”. It’s definitely not in the numbers nor in any assurances that we can hold on to our lives. Suddenly, I felt fear, sorrow and all the other profound feelings brewing up inside my restless mind.

Just a year ago, Bes and I set a meeting with Anna to go over to their house and have a cooking session. Unfortunately, Anna got sick that weekend and setting up another schedule had been difficult after that. Even an after office dinner date was as difficult. She was working night shift while my weekends were occupied. Bes was just as fully booked as us. And so the days turned to weeks until a year passed by. Occasionally, Anna would pop a message in my ym and we’d talk just about anything. Just last week, she popped a message in my FB chat board. Two words, “hi jenny” and I was agitated to reply but I was helpless. FB was blocked in our office and we didn’t have internet at home or even if we did, she’d be working by night then. Several times, I tried to leave a message using my ym link with FB but to no avail. And now she’s gone. It’s so ironic that I’ll get to see her soon for the last time, but none of us she’ll ever see. Finally, I have found the time to meet her and I can’t help but think bitterly, “if only I’d exerted this effort earlier”.

It’s really scary how life can be taken from us without us knowing how or when. But it’s consoling to know that so many people cared. Anna was a silent girl but she was a great person. Now, people are attesting to that kindness and goodness, leaving messages of good will and all. She’s appreciated for the life she had lived and for the person that she was. I just hoped Anna knew about these while she was still living.

I remembered the words from a song way back when we were just 15, 3rd year high school girls. Way back, they were just words… but at present, these words demonstrate the meaning they convey such that they become understood not only by the mind but also by the heart. If life is so short, then we should value every minute of it…

“If Life Is So Short – Moffats”

Isn’t it funny
How times seems to slip away
So fast
One minute you’re happy
The other you’re sad

In my memory, Anna will always be that shy girl who was a jolly company in campus. She’s one of those few people whom I trusted as a friend and felt comfortable to be with. She was definitely part of those good memories I keep treasured in my heart forever… Part of that happy youthful years in my life.

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2 thoughts on “Life

  1. Ako din Bes, how I wish I tried harder to followup on that activity. Kainis. Iniisip ko nalang, Anna’s passing was also a wakeup call. I don’t want to feel this way again, na tipong I was wishing I could have been a better friend, or gave more time to people.

    • Hay totoo… I can’t help thinking what if Anna was with us yesterday it would have been so much fun. Nagfflashback sa ken yung mga memories ni Anna sa St. Scho at hindi ko maiwasang malungkot…

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