Food for the Soul

This has been a most refreshing day in my life despite the fact that I had only 4 hours of sleep. I feel so inspired and energized. I was so struck with the lecture we had at church yesterday. I wish this feeling would stay on longer for me.

 

I’m still overwhelmed and all because of these verses:

Mark 8:35-36

35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.

36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

 

For days, depression gets the better of me from time to time. Being away from my family, and still no hopes with getting a job soon, I sometimes felt exhausted and helpless. I was losing my mood for anything. And then the changing weather somehow broke down my immune system. I don’t feel well for 3 days now.

 

I can’t explain in words so pity I can’t share why I am overwhelming now. But I just felt like I can overcome anything if I live up these verses. If I strive to do my best as a faithful servant despite all my weaknesses, despite giving up all the comforts in the world, I know I will feel peaceful with it. Because there is a reserved life waiting for us, a lifetime of pure joy. If I would live for say 50 more years, what’s that compared to infinity? I would rather sacrifice many more sleepless night than to lose the chance for that eternal life.

 

Life here may not always be a bed of roses. In fact, it’s more of 75% striving and 25% comfort. When we eat, we cook the food longer than it takes us to consume it. We sleep 6 hours a day, 8 if we’re lucky, and work for the rest of the hours. Life indeed is full of difficulties. And yet it’s just a very tiny fraction of the life we will inherit someday.

 

I’d rather sacrifice in this life now in order to follow Christ than to live in all comforts, thinking selfishly, and enjoying all the empty vices of this world. If I have to swallow all my pride for the sake of Christ and the gospel then so be it. All these are nothing, if we lose our chance to have that eternal life…

 

This entry was posted on November 25, 2012. 2 Comments

Migrating

Dear Readers,

I was surprised to see that I have 500 followers to this date: 10 bloggers alike, and the rest from Tweeter and Facebook. I’m sorry for not mentioning earlier my sincerest acknowledgement and appreciation of your time and attention to my writings but thank you so much really. You have made my blogging experience very worthwhile.

I have decided though to pursue with migrating to Blogger, after I discovered that it’s easier to use and has more options for blog designs. My hope to explore better things with blogger is positive. I hope to see you all around just the same. Although I will not delete this blog, this shall be my last post.

I hope we’ll see each other in the new blog I’ve just started. You, my valued readers, have made this blogging experience a meaningful one for me.

Yours affectionately,
Jenn Ji Hyun

The Attendance Challenge

When the year 2012 started, I challenged myself to complete my attendances at the office. To monitor this easily, I check my performance monthly and so far? Well, not good. I have about 1 or 2 absences each month, because of inevitable reasons like getting sick or some important affairs coming up. When I say important affairs, these are the things that require you to get some documents from offices which only open on weekdays. So you probably get what I mean. I was hopeful I’d perfect my attendance this May because I bonded myself to go to work even if I get sick. I am THAT desperate to achieve this challenge.

However, important affairs got in the way just recently and as a result, I was absent again yesterday. Probably, I will be absent again next week to renew my NBI clearance. Next month’s out of the question too since I’ve already reserved Demi’s first day of classes. That is a VERY important moment in a mother’s life, of course. I have to be there to witness it.

Anyway, I’m trying to exercise positivity so better luck for July. I’ll keep trying. 2012’s just halfway through…🙂

This entry was posted on May 17, 2012. 4 Comments

The Faces of Innocence

The faces that could launch a thousand ships… go berserk! Hehehehe…

They might look like their gonna stay still for a long time, smile and speak quietly. BUT looks can be deceiving.

A Lesson

A few days ago, somebody liked my previous post “The Late Bloomer Harry Potter Fan.” Out of curiosity and gratitude, of course, I had to see who this blogger was, by the name of Ranadive. To my surprise, his blog was about photography and perceptive posts, not at all the type of blogsite I keep, which is mostly about my thoughts and my experiences, hence my memoir. I was a bit embarrassed then that he liked my post (grateful but embarrassed :D).

What struck me primarily was a post about a solemn-looking child entitled For A Difference. The child was a beggar who requested for a photo of her with her brother and regarded this simple favour with such genuine happiness it would melt your heart to see their beaming smiles. After reading the post, I was overwhelmed by guilt due to my appalling attitudes. Impatience and discontentment are just a couple of them. Sometimes, I could also be so pessimistic that I hardly recognize the wonderful state I’m in compared to the less fortunate people whose population in our country could not be considered fairly small.

My shame was heightened as I remember that just a few nights ago, I was miserably complaining to my husband because we lack this or that trying to imply that my life is unhappy and that I’m so unfortunate. In a most sympathetic manner, he countered me saying I haven’t experienced the poorest state in life and, though he didn’t add, I have no right to whine in such tremendous way. I just failed to see the wonderful things being given me: the kids in good health, well-provided for, happy, growing normally, and the two of us in perfect relationship. These are the utmost concerns I guess, because these things are out of our control, meaning, God-given. Financially, we have just enough to get by with the things we need and at times, we’re given more than enough to afford even our wants. It was so wrong for me to just forget the wonderful things God had given and done for me. At the end of our conversation, I was like, thanks for slapping my face. I’ll try to avoid being such a horrible ungrateful creature and a childish brat who twitch when things don’t go my way.

Perhaps to emphasize my mistake even more, I received good news yesterday pertaining to my greatest dream at present. I wasn’t expecting this news for another 6 months or so and I was surprised, happy and excited all at the same time yesterday. Again, it’s not an assurance to my dream but we’re getting near the answer. I’d be a hypocrite if I don’t admit that I’m praying that the answer will be yes. I’m really hopeful, but that’s beside the point. The point is, after all my being a monstrous whiner, here I am receiving a gift of hope that I don’t think I deserve. Of all the things given me which I’ve taken for granted constantly, God is still kind and patient with me. And to top it all, I have been a deficient servant for a long time now.

It’s not the first time that I’ve been reminded to be thankful and more grateful. Some years ago, I received this e-mail entitled Are You Still Complaining? twice, both times when I’m on the verge of frustration. You see, I had my share of life’s extreme darkness myself, no job, no social life, no financial means, no use… I have my family though and hope. Still, my husband was right. I had not reached this peak of poverty and hardship to complain this much. And I just noticed again, the flesh and bone figure carrying his brother had a hint of smile in his face.
Now I’m even more humiliated because I have taken for granted the things that I should be smiling for, only because I lack this single thing or that…

Bottom line is, I am receiving my lecture the easy way. The kind of child that I am, I probably deserve a heavier lash. That’s one thing I have to be thankful again I guess. It only takes a few moments to stop and think in order to see the lessons that life wants us to learn. No need for unnecessary whining really. I just hope I’ll never forget this lesson again. I do feel despicable afterwards, every time I act this horrible.

This entry was posted on May 11, 2012. 5 Comments

The Late Bloomer Harry Potter Fan

After the addiction with the Hunger Games trilogy, I was shaking uncontrollably and there were inevitable moments of hallucination. I guess that’s the withdrawal syndrome. My best friend was at my aid, so she sent me more addictive stuff. Just kidding, hehe. Bes gave me more e-books to read which include the complete Harry Potter series, works of Nicholas Sparks, Paolo Coelho, and the famous 7 Habits of Highly Effective People among others. With all these wonderful writings, choosing was a bit difficult but I thought I’ll save the romance for later, the human understanding next, and being highly effective last (haha).

Reading the HP series was actually a long overdue goal. Just like with THG, I was the listener while the rest of the world conversed about this new book. At first, I even regarded the book as atrocious because people kept commenting about the bad influence it impressed over the young ones. Then I guessed the book must be really good to attract this much criticism. When the first movie was released, I almost laughed at my expectations. It’s a fantasy alright, and not at all wicked. Kids would tend to imagine things like this anyway, HP or no HP, so it didn’t deserve this grave criticism at all.

Well, onto my experience with reading the book. First, I’ve watched several HP movies but never got straight which is which from the sequence. I don’t enjoy watching as much as reading so the only occasions I viewed HP was when my brothers would watch them too. Sometimes I’d watch the latter part, other times the first. Either way, it’s usually just midway so you’d probably understand my confusion. I recognized scenes from the movie though, while reading, and it was like fitting pieces of a puzzle while the story unfolds. It’s not a very thrilling experience because I’ve been spared of the imagination factor. Everything, from characters to setting to plot, had been provided already. Nevertheless, HP movies deserve praise based from these aspects because they depicted the books very well.

Now that I’ve finished reading the 1st book, I realized I’ve become a HP fan myself. JK Rowling is a tremendously great story – teller. I secretly envy her for inventing Bettie Bott’s Every Flavoured Bean. It’s such an innocent creation with just a hint of naughtiness in it, the kind I trusted my mind to come up with. And I really find Dumbledore’s vomit-and-earwax-flavoured-bean-experience the best, haha! She’s such a natural humorist, throwing witty and sarcastic dialogues all throughout the pages. And without question, she has a very imaginative mind, down from the wizard terms, the train station, disappearing stores, moving stairs and photos, the sorting cap, every foreign thing seemed real and it’s no wonder kids probably hoped to receive a letter from Hogwarts right after reading the book. Even the broomstick, which isn’t a new thing with witches and wizards, was given a different light that made the idea interesting rather than creepy.

My favourite part was Harry’s conversation with Dumbledore, after he had defeated Quirell and Voldemort. I was particularly impressed with how Harry found the Sorcerer’s Stone: only one who wanted to find the Stone – find it, but not use it – would be able to get it. Brilliant, isn’t it? And she did have several perceptive ideas expressed through Dumbledore in the last parts and let me quote:

“…humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.”
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”
“The truth… It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

And just like any other fairy tale, the HP book 1 had a happy ending with Gryffindors beating the nasty Slytherins for the first time after 6 years. Meanwhile, while the rest of the HP fans are silently mournful for HP’s coming to an end, I think I’ll savor the other 6 remaining books. I guess this is one of the benefits of being a late bloomer.🙂